Over the years, I've had different priorities (making friends since I'm not originally from here, job, etc). Now I'd like to see what this dating world is like and maybe find that someone special. But I get tired of people (usually married) saying oh. You'll find someone. Dating in your 40s: For over 40 years old find a partner for free. A place to find a senior partner. Join our community of mature singles and find a meaningful connection. Singles over 40: but 40 years old or more, our members bring you seriousness and complicity. Single parents with children: from your city or from the rest of the world. Divorced, separated or widowed: who wish to reinvent. LINKS:.PRIVATE COACHING SESSIONS.ONLINE DATING RESULTS FOR MENhttps://www.apolloniaponti.com/onlin.
When I was 45, sick of being single, and determined to meet my man, I turned to a therapist for help. At the time there were no dating coaches and very few psychotherapists who gave dating advice for women over 40.
Thankfully, being the nice Jewish gal that I am, I had no problem going straight to a shrink.
Lucky for all of us, now there is dating and relationship advice for women over 40 from all quarters. So, when I discovered Rachel Dack, who is both a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor AND a dating and relationship coach, I just had to pick her brain.
Here is my interview with Rachel:
You are a licensed psychotherapist, as well as a leading woman’s dating expert. What a great combination! Please share with us what you observe as the main barriers preventing women over 40 from achieving love?
The main barriers preventing women over 40 from achieving love are personal insecurities, lack of self-love and low self-esteem.
Feeling unworthy or undeserving of love paired with a lack of dating success causes some women to believe these negative beliefs are true and won’t change, which interferes with their ability to be hopeful and open around men.
These mental blocks create an unhealthy mindset about themselves, men, dating, love or relationships and unfortunately hold them back from creating genuine connections.
These women may be going on dates and meeting numerous available men, but their negative mindsets and self-sabotaging beliefs are problematic when reinforced over and over again.
They may desperately want a man, but they are faced with an inner conflict because they view men as the enemy who can’t be trusted.
They may play the victim, blame themselves for their dating failures, feel intense anger toward men or lead with sex.
They may play games, have unrealistic expectations, sabotage developing relationships or struggle to believe a man could genuinely be interested and therefore, they keep men at a distance.
Another main barrier women over 40 face is unresolved baggage, emotional wounds or trauma from the past.
So often the past trickles into the present and impacts dating, so despite many women feeling open and ready for love, they approach dating with walls and activated defense mechanisms for protection or they pick the wrong men altogether.
They may have a cynical or jaded view of men or relationships because they’ve been burned before and want to ensure they are not hurt again. It can feel challenging for them to keep hope alive and trust men.
Dating without a healthy, hopeful mindset and lack of resolution about the past leaves many women less available to high quality men.
Actively dating, putting ourselves “out there” can be exhausting! What self-care practices do you recommend that will boost our “dating” self-esteem and keep us from wearing out and even giving up?
Healthy self-care practices will make dating feel more tolerable and fun, despite the potential ups and downs and help you cultivate more self-love.
First, if dating isn’t going well or doesn’t feel natural to you, resist the urge to give yourself a hard time or put yourself down.
Dating advice for women over 40: “First, if dating isn’t going well or doesn’t feel natural to you, resist the urge to give yourself a hard time or put yourself down.”
There’s a lot you can do to make dating feel better and how you talk to yourself makes a big difference for your love life.
Understand that the healthier and happier you feel, the better dating will go, so do everything in your power to date as your best, most authentic and most confident self!
Here are some tips:
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- Use strategies, such as visualizing the date going well, reciting an empowering mantra and using mindfulness or meditation exercises pre-date, to calm dating nerves and jitters.
- Participate in activities and hobbies that bring your joy or relaxation while ensuring your existence is more than constant dating.
- Make dating a priority, but also invest time in developing yourself as a whole person and taking care of yourself.
- Whether it’s a bubble bath, pedicure, brunch with girlfriends, jogging, yoga, travel, hike in nature or new hobby, self-care activities are there to rejuvenate you.
- Set an intention to meet each date with an open mind and heart and commit to learning and growing through each dating experience so you can date more mindfully and intentionally.
These practices will also breed more confidence and balance. It is so important to nurture yourself and your other relationships regardless of how dating is going.
A holistic approach to dating, healthy self-care practices, personal growth and freedom from the past will help you feel more empowered and lead to more successful dating outcomes.
Men “disappearing” or not calling us back after the first date or two (especially when they say they will) is so hard to deal with. What are your tips for dealing with dating rejection?
Rejection is unfortunately an inevitable part of dating, so be careful in assuming something is wrong with you or you are inadequate.
Regardless of how amazing you are, there will be some men who don’t want to date you and vice versa.
Getting rejected may actually have little to do with you and is often linked with his own emotional availability, maturity and timing. Long story short, rejection is unavoidable, no matter how much you have to offer.
Don’t take rejection personally or let your worth depend on what men/others think of you or your relationship status. This is a dangerous way to live!
Understand that dating is vulnerable and there is a high potential for rejection, but it’s worth it to find your special person.
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It’s natural to need some time to bounce back from a rejection or breakup and that’s okay, but don’t give up on your dating and relationship goals.
Allow yourself to feel the pain and grieve the loss while staying aligned with your goals and learning from dating mistakes and mishaps.
If you are noticing patterns that may be contributing to being rejected (for example, multiple men say you appear cold, distracted or uninterested), do the work to cultivate insight and closure, learn important lessons and stay optimistic.
Rachel Dack is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC), and dating and relationship coach for men and women. She is a relationship expert for eHarmony and is the leading women’s dating expert for http://www.datingadvice.com/. Rachel offers psychotherapy and coaching services in person and by phone through her private practice, Rachel Dack Counseling LLC, located in Bethesda, Maryland. Rachel’s areas of expertise include dating, relationships, self-esteem, anxiety, and breakups.
Social media links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RachelDackCounselingLLC/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/dackcounseling
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/racheldackcounselingllc/
These will also help you:
As a man, if you’re looking to experience dating success after the age of 40, then today is the day that you will begin to make it happen.
The secret to success is to understand that women are lot easier to attract and have sex with than most guys realize.
According to a USA study, 55% of couples admitted to having sex on their first date and a European study found that 70% of women have had a one night stand.
In other words, you’re going to get laid. It’s going to happen.
If you want to get some action, you’ve got to first focus on improving your ability to attract women when you interact with them. If you have that skill, attracting and picking up women will be a relatively simple process for you.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
As you will discover from the video above, most women place more importance on how a guy’s personality and confidence makes them feel, rather than what he looks like.
Yes, some women are very picky and only want a guy who looks like a male model, has a perfect body and loads of money, but the majority of women are much more flexible about what they find attractive in a guy than most men realize.
Life Begins at 40?
If you’ve reached your 40s, you will probably the saying, “Life begins at 40” and “You’re only as old as you feel.”
Yet, if you’ve reached your 40s and are single and looking for love, there can be no denying that being on the “wrong” side of 40 can make you feel old, right?
Dating is usually looked as something that only “young” people do and this belief is often by so many of the online dating sites that are geared towards younger people who just beginning to find their feet in the dating world at large.
So, where does that leave you if you’re looking for advice on dating after 40? It leaves you right here, reading an article from a true dating expert that will help you, irrespective of your age.
Personally speaking, I’m 37 and I recently married my sexy, 22 year old girlfriend. I attracted her with my confidence, charisma and charm and then deepened her feelings of love, respect and attraction for me as the relationship continued.
Despite that she is young, sexy and has a perfect body, I picked her up even though I spend no time in the gym at all. I do a bit of running and bike riding to keep healthy, but I don’t have time to work out in the gym…and I haven’t needed to that to attract women.
Dusting Yourself Off and Getting Back Into the Dating Scene
A lot of the guys who contact me looking for advice on dating after 40, have found themselves single again after 10 or 15 years of marriage, or many years in a long-term relationship.
A man may have been away from the dating scene for practically half of his life and will often terrified or depressed about having to get back out there and find a woman. Often, it simply comes down to the man losing a lot of confidence over the years and not knowing how to get his “mojo” back with the ladies.
Other times, it’s a question of not knowing where to start because the guy met his wife in high school and never really dated any other girls before getting married. In effect, men like this have based a lot of their identity around the long-term relationship and have forgotten who they actually are as an individual.
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The good news for you is that, while the world has changed at lightening pace over the last few decades, the qualities that a woman looks for in a man have remained unchanged.
You don’t need to do anything other than improve your attract women to your personality and confidence then simply get back out there to mingle with some beautiful women. Whatever you do, just make sure that you absolutely understand and remember that…
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It’s Not All About Looks
It’s no surprise that men in their 40s often get caught up the advertising world “hype” that says a guy has to look a certain way, smell a certain way, wear a certain brand of clothing, and drive a certain car to be attractive to women.
It you look at the “Just For Men” hair dye ads, they will tell you that women HATE any signs of grey hair or ageing on a man, when in fact many women LOVE it.
For most of human history and still to this day, women are instinctively attracted to older men because they usually represent a better chance of survival, prosperity and protection.
However, since most guys are clueless when it comes to women, they are susceptible to getting tricked into thinking that putting a color in their hair or wearing a face cream with get them the girl.
If you want to be successful at dating after 40, you must realize that you already have the best asset of all: You are a man.
If you don’t think that you’re good enough for women, you are probably going through life making up all sorts of excuses as to why you’re not successful with women.
Yet, as you will discover from the video below, there is usually only one, simple reason why men fail with women…
As you will discover from the video above, most guys who fail with women make up all sorts of excuses about why women don’t find them attractive. Yet, a man’s attractiveness to women is mostly based on the personality traits and behaviors that he displays to her during an interaction, rather than on his looks.
Yes, some women only want a young looking guy with muscles, money and a full head of hair, but most women aren’t that shallow and you will realize that if you watch the entire video above.
What Do Women Find Attractive About You?
There are many different personality traits and behaviors that you can display to women to trigger their feelings of attraction for you.
Three examples are:
- Confidence: You are confident when interacting with her and other people. You don’t come across as nervous or self-doubting.
- Masculinity: You think, behave and take action like a man. You’re not afraid of the world around you. You handle challenging situations with the power and self-belief, rather than crumbling under pressure.
- Social intelligence: You get along well with her and others. You’re a cool guy, even now that you’re in your 40s. You understand people and don’t make the classic social mistakes that other guys make.
None of the above traits can be achieved with hair dye, special creams or the latest car, but they are qualities that can be developed when you choose to invest in improving yourself as a man.
Most women (not all) are not eternally impressed by guy’s outer appearance or his material possessions. Sure, that might attract some women initially, but most women are more impressed and attracted to who a guy is as a man, which is an attraction principle that holds true whether a guy is in his 20s or 40s.
Don’t Worry About the Baggage That You Are Carrying
I often get contacted by men in their 40s who want to know if they should tell a woman right away about how much “baggage” they are carrying from previous relationships.
Baggage can be anything from on-going divorce proceedings, having children who live with them or commitments related to an ex-wife or family.
Honesty is always the best policy, if not for the fact that when it comes to dating after 40, most women are looking for the real deal. However, a mistake that some men make is “off-loading” their entire life story onto a woman they’re supposed to be getting to know on a date.
A woman who is attracted to you and interested in dating you won’t always see everything that comes with you as being unattractive baggage.
Instead, she will see it as part of who you are and will respect you for it, as long as you come across in a way that shows you are balanced, have everything under control and you’re able to live a fun, interesting lifestyle as a result.
On the other hand, if you talk non-stop about your past and come across in a way that suggests you feel depressed, unattractive or miserable about your other commitments in life, then she is going to feel turned off by your inability to deal with life.
Women feel respect and attraction for men who have their life under control, even if there are many moving parts that he wishes he could cut off or leave behind.
Your past has certainly helped to make you the man you are, but it’s the man that you are when you interact with her and the man that you’re aiming to be tomorrow that makes you attractive to a woman. Don’t make the mistake of dwelling on what has already happened in your life so far; dating after 40 is no different to dating after 20.
While a woman will be interested to find out about your past, it’s what is happening between you and her right now and what may happen in the future that is most interest to her.
What Do You Need to Improve About Yourself to Be Successful With Women?
It doesn’t matter what age you are; it is never too late to learn how to be the kind of man that women are looking for and it is never too late to improve on who you already are.
You can always become an even better version of the great man that you are today, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that you will find the solution in a bottle of hair dye or the latest car.
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