Over the past month or so, I’ve realized something pretty important: I’m 100 percent frustrated with dating. I said it so you don’t have to, because I’m positive that everyone feels this way at some point. There’s something so weird about the cycle of hope and disappointment that seems to be built into it. Trying to meet someone that you have a connection with (or at least some common conversation topics) can feel pretty impossible. So I got super brave and signed up for a speed dating event. It was equal parts terrifying and unsuccessful, but on the upside, I learned a ton about myself.
I can talk a lot.
At the event, half the participants stayed seated at a bar and the other half moved around when a bell rang every three minutes. Three minutes is fast, it turns out (who knew?) – even if the person is kind of dull. I like to think I’m a pretty friendly, outgoing person, and no matter what person was sitting across from me, I was able to find stuff to chat about. Even if it was just small talk, I was comforted by that fact because now I know that I can talk to just about anyone.
Attraction matters.
Speed dating is kind of like a real life version of Tinder. Someone sits down across from you and you basically know within mere seconds if you’re attracted to them. Then you make the choice: do you want to politely chat so you don’t spend the three minutes staring at them awkwardly and silently, or do you want to actually try for a good conversation? If it’s the latter, it’s similar to thinking someone’s cute on a dating app and then wanting to talk to them. Except, you know, this is actually happening in the real world. This made me realize that physical attraction is super important – without it, you have zero base for a real connection.
How Single People Are Speed-Dating Via Zoom in Light of the Pandemic By Ciara O'Rourke. The Doctor, the Dentist. How Texas Hunting Went Exotic By Wes Ferguson. Until 1968, a Married Texas.
- Lily Allen has recalled how in her 20s she got addicted to taking 'speed' in a bid to lose weight while on tour with Miley Cyrus. In a desperate attempt to shed the pounds after having two babies and being 14 stone, Lily felt threatened to be next to a 'younger and prettier' Miley while supporting her on her tour.
- Frasier hires Ferguson, a classically trained and refined Englishman from a long line of butlers, to live in the Crane household. When hearing of Daphne and Niles' clandestine relationship, he expresses a belief that social class remains too strong a presence in such relationships, inevitably dooming them to failure.
Chemistry involves personality, too.
There were a few bright points during the evening when I found myself talking to a truly nice guy, someone who made those three minutes go even faster. The more time that passed, the more interesting they seemed, and I was looking forward to talking to them more if given the opportunity. I initially found these guys attractive and realized that chemistry definitely involves the whole package: looks plus a sparkling personality. You 100 percent need both.
It’s a numbers game.
Like any other form of dating that begins not with an in person meet-cute at a coffee shop or on a tree-lined fall street but with an app, site, etc, speed dating is ultimately all about the numbers. Out of 22 mini-dates, I wanted to see 4 again. Out of 2 matches, I had 1 date, and ultimately zero chemistry. That’s just the way it goes sometimes. These kinds of events are much smaller pools than online because you literally have no idea who’s going to be there and you can’t filter by age, hobbies, interests, etc.
First dates matter.
You can never be certain that you want to be with someone after a mere three minutes. This experience definitely made me realize how crucial first dates are. Sure, we complain about how boring they can sometimes be, but we need that first date test: Are there butterflies in our stomach? Can we actually have a great conversation? It occurred to me that if you can chat about something more than just how awkward speed dating actually is, then you’re probably doing pretty well. The first step is learning how to survive that dinner date. Beyond that, it’s kind of up to the fates.
No one system is perfect.
This event made me realize that if you want to meet someone, it’s a good idea to have a bunch of different dating tools at your disposal: swiping like crazy on Tinder, crafting hopefully witty messages on OKCupid, etc. At least then you won’t get super discouraged when one app or site doesn’t get you true love right this second, because you have something else to try. Dating is frustrating and tiring enough. Ultimately this speed dating round didn’t work for me, so I just turned around and focused my efforts elsewhere.
There’s something to be said for online dating.
I can’t believe I just typed those words. But my speed dating experience made me realize that I don’t actually hate online dating as much as I thought I did. Sure, people don’t always look like their photos and there’s a real issue with building someone up in your head before you’ve even met. But at the same time, you can figure out who you find attractive, chat a bit to see if you hit it off, and if you get a weird vibe you never have to meet them at all. Pretty simple system.
I hate awkwardness.
Basically, speed dating can be pretty awkward. Someone (or more than a few someones) is rude to you, your throat is super sore from talking so much, you basically feel like crying at the halfway point. It’s just not realistic to think that we could possibly be able to speak to every single person that crosses our path. My feeling is that real life has the potential to be awkward enough (hello first dates), so why put yourself into that kind of situation?
Small talk doesn’t mean it’s a real connection.
At the end of the day, speed dating is just another way to meet someone. Not good, not bad, it just depends. I realized that just as small talk at your BFF’s party doesn’t mean you’ve met your One and Only, it’s really hard to get a feel for someone in three minutes flat. Long live Tinder?
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Read more:
2020
December 30, 2020; St.Louis Post Dispatch
November 10, 2020; St.Louis Public Radio
July 2, 2020; Fox 2 News
May 19, 2020; Tim’s Travels
April 24, 2020; theSTL
April 15, 2020; theSTL
March 24, 2020; KMOV
January 31, 2020; Center For Humans & Nature
2019
2018
October 24, 2018; Hec-TV
September 30, 2018; Meet St. Louis
September 25, 2018; KMOV
September 12, 2018; St. Louis Magazine
September 5, 2018; Fox2 Now
August 27, 2018; Fox2 Now
July 1, 2018; The Healthy Planet
June 12, 2018; KSDK
June 5, 2018; St. Louis Magazine
March 17, 2018; Green Dining Alliance
March 1, 2018; STLtoday.com
2017
October 5, 2017; Fox2 Now
May 17, 2017; KMOV
2016
Oct 10, 2016; Fox2 Now
September 12, 2016; Fox2 Now
2015
July 4th, 2015; Green Time TV
Rooted In Ferguson, Molly Rockamann & James Young on Green Time TV
June 29th, 2015; Town & Style
St. Louis Icons: Molly Rockamann of EarthDance
June 16, 2015; Women’s Voices Raised for Social Justice
Learning About Food Justice: EarthDance Farm
April 17, 2015; St. Louis Magazine
Q&A: Molly Rockamann of EarthDance Farms
April 3, 2015; Farm Commons
Molly Rockamann of EarthDance Farms
February 20, 2015; Photo Flood STL
Photo Flood 31: Ferguson
February 18, 2015; Beautiful Now
Beautiful Slow Food Now
February 3, 2015; AgriNews
Interns learn about agriculture at inner-city organic project
January 9, 2015; Slow Food USA
Inclusion, Peace & Justice Through Food
2014
November 17, 2014; Rootstock, Organic Valley Blog
Featured in the Power of We spot: EarthDance Organic Farm School
October 30, 2014; Feast Magazine
The EarthDance Farmers Formal
October 28, 2014; The Weather Channel
Is ‘Weed Dating’ the New Speed Dating? New Trend Sparks Romance for Modern Farming Singles
October 23, 2014; Green On the Go, Missouri Botanical Gardens Newsletter
Featured Organization: EarthDance
October 14, 2014; Modern Farmer
Forget Speed Dating, How About Weed Dating?
September 23, 2014; Feast Magazine
EarthDance Farms Hosts 7th Annual Farmers Formal Nov. 8th
September 22, 2014; St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Ferguson residents meet with federal, city officials
Ferguson Speed Dating Videos
September 8, 2014; St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Ferguson concert brings peace
September 6, 2014; St. Louis Post-Dispatch
More farmers markets taking food stamps
August 29, 2014; Feast Magazine
Need for Support in Ferguson Still Strong
August 28, 2014; KSDK Channel 5, STL Together Spotlight
Ferguson Farm Helping Heal Community
August 26, 2014; Yes Magazine
Shaken by Violence, Ferguson Residents Gather to Talk and Heal
August 24, 2014; The Wall Street Journal, Photo Only
In Ferguson, MultiRacial Neighborhoods Defy Image of Strife
August 22, 2014; St. Louis Magazine
Strength in Adversity: The Ferguson Food Community Comes to the Table
July 31, 2014; RiverFront Times
10 Local Urban Farms We Love
May 2014; St. Louis At Home Magazine: Summer 2014
EarthDance Listed as one of St. Louis At Home Magazine’s top 6 CSA’s
EarthDance listed in St. Louis Farm-to-Table Essentials
March 3, 2014; Lady GODIVA Program
Meet the 2014 Lady GODIVA Program Honorees
February 20, 2014; Sauce Magazine Blog
2010 EarthDance alum Jamie Bryant of Blue Bell Farm
February 5, 2014; KOPN Columbia, MO 89.5 FM – Farm & Fiddle
Molly’s experience at the International Permaculture Conference in Cuba
January 25, 2014; FOX2 NOW
EarthDance Farms offering Farm & Garden apprenticeship
Interview with Program Director Rachel Levi on the apprenticeship program
January 22, 2014; UMSL
UMSL volunteers give back with “A Day On, Not a Day Off”
January 14, 2014; Sauce Magazine Blog
EarthDance to add home gardening to the apprenticeship program
January 2014; FarmShow.com
Weed Dating: Singles Meet Over Weeds
Vol. 38, Issue #1, Page #44
2013
August 25, 2013; KSU: Urban Food Systems
A Visit to EarthDance
August 21, 2013; Rhubarb and Honey
Pesto Popsicles
July 27, 2013; STLToday.com
The Go! List: Best Local Farm
St. Louis’ Best in Arts & Entertainment
July 23, 2013; FOX2 NOW
Weeding the Garden can get you a Date
July 17, 2013; Gateway Green Alliance, KNLC Channel 24
Featured in Green Time TV: Standing up to Environmental Challenges
Interviewed in Health Begins in the Soil at EarthDance: Green Time 426
July 16, 2013; FOX2 NOW
July 1, 2013; STL Beacon
H.O.O.P. – Help Our Organic Production
June 2013; The Healthy Planet
EarthDance Farms Holds HOOP-A-Thon for Year-Round Hoop House
May 30, 2013; Ladue News
Charity Awards Finalist: EarthDance
May 29, 2013; STLToday.com
With Lettuce Greens and Justice for All
Interview with Volunteer Coordinator Matt Lebon
May 22, 2013; RiverFront Times
EarthDance Farms: A Model of Sustainability in Ferguson
May 13, 2013; STLToday.com
EarthDance Founder up for $10,000 Lady Godiva Grant
January 3, 2013; 5 KDSK.com
New Farmers Learn to Grown Organic
2012
December 20, 2012; 5 KDSK.com
Featured on Schlafly Winter Market & Holiday Fair
November 2012; ALIVE Magazine
Event photo galleries link – “Farmer’s Formal”
November 3, 2012; Town & Style
Farmers Formal Event Photos
October 16, 2012; KPLR 11
Precious Earth: EarthDance Farms Apprenticeship
July 25, 2012; 88.1 KDHX, Community Radio
Interview by Jean Ponzi, Earthworms show
July 13, 2012; StLouisGreen.com
EarthDance Buys the Farm
July 12, 2012; FarmProgress.com, MissouriRuralist
Organic Farming Attracts Women
Spotlight on Founder Molly Rockamann, Farm Manager April Shelhon, & Farm & Community Education Coordinator Rachel Levi at EarthDance
July 10, 2012; FOX2 NOW
Precious Earth: Pesto Festo
July 10, 2012; KPLR 11
Precious Earth: Pesto Festo
June 2012;FEASTstl.com
The FEED: EarthDance & Open Space Council Purchase 129-Year-Old, 14-Acre Organic Mueller Farm in North County
June 28, 2012; The St. Louis American
EarthDance keeps Ferguson Farm in Business
June 12, 2012; NoCoSTL.com
EarthDance is the New Owner of Mueller Farm!
April 12, 2012; NPR – Missouri Harvest
Mentioned in an interview on NPR by authors Maddie Earnest & Liz Fathman; also featured in the book, Missouri Harvest
April 2012; Marie Claire: Malaysia
Green Goddesses: Going Global
Interview with Founder, Molly Rockamann
March 15, 2012; St. Louis Magazine
Diggin’ the Dirt – Ask Molly: “Organic,” and Truth in Labeling
March 14, 2012; Town & Style Magazine
Reaching Out: EarthDance FARMS
Interview with apprentice Alum Nancy Schnell & Founder Molly Rockamann
January 31, 2012; NOCO – The Online Magazine of St. Louis County
EarthDance graduates growing 8 new projects
2011
July 2011; The Vital Voice Magazine
The GREEN Issue – Non-Profit of the Month Feature
May 14, 2011; St. Louis Post Dispatch
Molly Rockamann of EarthDance
2010
September 2010; ALIVE Magazine
FARM Rock event photos!
July 28, 2010; kmov.com
Ice Cream & FARMS Rock
May 2010; FarmerJane.org
Molly Rockamann & EarthDance featured
May 18, 2010; Civil Eats
Profiling Women Changing the Way We Eat: Molly Rockamann
April 28, 2010; St. Louis Post Dispatch
“Market Watch” – EarthDance Farm Manager, Julie Holley is quoted.
February 2010; ALIVE Magazine
2010 Buzz List, List includes EarthDance Co-Founder & Executive Director, Molly Rockamann
January 2010; Ladue News
Molly named one of the 10 Most Dynamic St. Louisans of 2010
2009
December 6, 2009; NocoSTL.com
EarthDance seeks 2010 organic farming apprentices
December 1, 2009; Sauce Magazine
Down on the Farm
November 24, 2009; Secretary of the Interior Blog
EarthDance Farm: Now Accepting ‘Freshman Farmies’ for 2010
November 8, 2009; NocoSTL.com
Good Green Fun at Pesto Festo
October 22, 2009; Great Day St. Louis
Molly Rockamann demonstrated how to make arugula pesto for Carol Daniels.
July 21, 2009; Mother Nature Network
Molly Rockamann was listed on Mother Nature Network’s ’40 Farmers under 40′ list
July 2009; St. Louis Magazine
EarthDance was featured in St. Louis Magazine
June 27, 2009; The Local Harvest Dish
EarthDance Farms (Mueller Farms) and Meet the Farmer Dinner
April 22, 2009; STLToday.com
Ferguson farm prepares for growing, Video story
2008
November 4, 2008; 88.1 KDHX, Community Radio
Interview by Jean Ponzi, Earthworms show
October 2008; The Healthy Planet
EarthDance Honors Farmers at Pesto Festo: A Harvest Festival
September 25, 2008; KMOV news
Sportsprint of Ferguson now offers recycled & organic products, donating the proceeds of EarthDance tees to the organization
Ferguson Speed Dating Sites
2007
Speed Dating Questions
July 30, 2007; St. Louis Post Dispatch
Organic Farm has Long History